What is a Respite or Short-Term Stay?
Your mom is caring for your dad. She says sheâs doing fine, but you can tell itâs really wearing on her. She looks like sheâs not sleeping and she stopped meeting her friends for their weekly lunch. Or you may be your dad’s caregiver and for the last two years youâve put off your family vacation because you couldnât leave him. You really need that vacation. This week, weâre talking about taking a break from caregivingâŠthe respite stay.
Weâve been focused on family caregiving for the last couple of posts and one of the things we see so often is the caregiver getting sicker than the one theyâre caring for. This week weâre going to talk about one option for taking a break: the respite stay or short term stay. Weâre also going to look at other reasons you may want to consider a respite.
If youâve toured a senior living community they may or may not have offered this as an option as only some communities offer it. So what exactly is a respite? Itâs where your loved one actually moves into a senior living community, uses the communityâs furniture, and the stay is usually for a specified amount of time. Typically this time is a minimum of two weeks and up to 30 days.
If youâre a regular reader, you may remember our post on the senior living community paperwork. The process of a respite stay involves the exact same paperwork and procedures of a regular move-in and this is partly why thereâs a minimum time frame. Theyâll do a nurse assessment, put together a care plan, train the staff on the care plan including the dining room for any special diets, coordinate medications and get the room all set up. They can also help you with the actual transition, especially when it comes to memory care. Those transitions can be more difficult. Thatâs a lot of work and coordination for a community. For you? Aside from the paperwork and maybe bringing a few personal items, a favorite blanket and pictures you are just dropping your left one off for two weeks or 30 days.
So⊠Are you already imagining what youâd do with your 30 day break?
Weâve worked with many families whoâve chosen a respite stay for some of the following reasons:
-To take a much needed vacation or even staycation. A break from their caregiving duties.
-To do work on the house.
-To âtryâ community living. In this case, weâve seen families choose respite for even Independent Living or a Retirement Community and sometimes that trial goes so well that mom or dad end up staying and converting to a move-in.
Letâs pause here and talk a little bit about this type of move-in. I mentioned earlier that youâre most often using the communityâs furniture. Youâre also likely in an apartment designated for respite stays. After the respite stay period if you decide to convert to a move-in, you may need to choose a different apartment and of course costs will be adjusted – sometimes up and sometimes down. The great part about this is that your loved one can continue in their respite apartment while you get everything set up in their new one and the paperwork will be minimal because you already did it! This can also be a really great option if your loved one has been nervous about the idea of community living. They can âtry it outâ for a month and see how they like it. This can be such a great option because aside from reviews or your co-workers or friends’ experience with a particular community, no one knows what a community is like until they live there.
Another reason families choose respite is if their loved one is recovering from a fall or surgery and needs more care than they can provide. In these cases, respites may be converted to a move-in, if more than 30 days is required. We worked with one family in this situation. They anticipated their mom was going to need a few months to recover from her surgery and the community only allowed respite stays for a maximum of 30 days. So they had to proceed with a full move-in. Then at the two month mark, they gave their 30 days notice, taking them to that 3 months. If youâre not sure what I mean by 30 day notice, be sure to check out the episode on community paperwork and Iâll put a link to that in show notes. Their mom was in a protected environment, receiving the care she needed and once she was strong enough to move back home she did. This also gave the family time to make a few modifications to her home.
Now, you may be wondering…why do some families choose respite over in-home care? Most often itâs cost. In Assisted Living Community or Memory Care, your loved one has access to 24/7 care and the cost of 24/7 in-home care is usually much more expensive. Sometimes, double. Iâll put a link to a post we made on in-home care so you can compare the two.
On a side note, there are also day stay programs or Adult Day Centers for those with Dementia or Alzheimerâs Disease. These centers offer a full day or half-day break to caregivers. Some communities offer this, some senior centers and other not-for-profit organizations. You can find your local programs through your Area Agency on Aging.
Thank you for reading this weekâs post! If youâre a family caregiver, I hope it means youâre one step closer to taking a break. If you know someone who is caregiving and you know they need a break, I hope youâll send this episode their way. Donât forget to check out our doable download and until next time make it doable.
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