Maybe you didn’t know there was something called a Power of Attorney or maybe your mom didn’t really understand what it was and whenever you asked about it? Her response was… I can take care of myself. Maybe you filled it out years ago and no one can seem to find it anywhere. What can you do if you need a POA but it’s too late?
Last week we talked about the Power of Attorney paperwork and how it helps you make decisions for your loved one when they can’t. But what do you do if it’s too late? That almost happened to my brother and I. We were so lucky that my dad had a good day and we were able to complete the paperwork. That’s important because the notary is going to be looking to see that your loved one is of sound mind. The POA is a legal document that your loved one is willingly participating in. They have to know what they’re signing. But we’ve worked with families whose mom or dad refused to sign the POA paperwork and sometimes they don’t think they need the help or they don’t want to choose between their children or there are other family dynamics at play.
So today we’re going to take a look at another option, an option some would consider a last resort and when you might need to consider it.
The option is a Guardianship. In some states it’s called a Conservatorship. In other states they have both one for managing day to day care and one for finances.
So why would you need to consider this option? In many cases there is some form of cognitive impairment, whether that’s Alzheimer’s or a mental illness. Many times this prevents your loved one from caring for themselves. We’ve worked with families where the neighbor called the family to say that their dad didn’t have electricity, only to find out he had forgotten to pay the bill for months and didn’t know how to fix the situation. Another family’s parents weren’t caring for themselves or the house or the pets and a neighbor called Adult Protective Services. This is an agency that steps in to investigate the safety of older adults. It might be called something else in your state.
Things get scary when your mom or dad don’t recognize their inability to make sound, safe decisions and they don’t want your help. In some of these situations, they may even sound very reasonable and convincing. They may be able to have a conversation with that investigator, doctor, or emergency room staff. These small glimpses into the situation can sometimes work against your cause and this is why Guardianship is considered a last resort. Sometimes it can be difficult to determine the line between our individual rights and our safety.
That being said, we’re presuming that you have good intentions! That all you want is your loved one safe! You don’t want them sitting without food, or power or in filth. We worked with one gentleman who was scammed out of tens of thousands of dollars by those all too familiar phone scams. We’re presuming that you’re considering Guardianship because you care and not like the movie I Care A Lot about fraud in the Guardian system. I’ll leave a link to that in the show notes.
So how does the Guardianship process work?
Well first of all there is a cost involved. You’ll have filing fees and court costs. In Washington state we’ve seen estimates of about $800 to do it yourself or $2000 to enlist an attorney. Of course these fees vary state to state and attorney to attorney.
Here are the basic steps:
-You’ll file a petition.
-You’ll submit your reasons for needing a Guardianship and include information on everyone involved including relatives.
-You’ll submit evidence including medical information to support the reasons. This is where documentation is very important.
-You’ll be required to notify your loved one and any other relatives of the petition. Most families we work with are having these conversations and usually coming to an agreement with family members prior to taking this step. But it’s not always the case.
-The courts will then investigate and a hearing will be scheduled to either approve the Guardianship or not.
Guardianship is a big step. You’re in a position of making decisions for your mom or dad or grandpa or brother. Tough decisions that they may not agree with, especially if they don’t see that they’re unsafe. As a Guardian you have a responsibility to make decisions that are in their best interest. You are responsible for their care. But that’s why you’re here right!? Because they aren’t able to care for themselves and they need you. While this may be an unavoidable option for some of you who are listening right now. It’s always better if your mom or dad can be involved in making these decisions before they’re needed through POA, living wills and trusts. So if there’s still time and you’re not quite at the Guardianship stage yet, try to have these tough conversations with your loved ones. It could help make the future so much more doable!
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