Can My Loved One Drink Alcohol In Senior Living?
You know your dad needs Assisted Living and youâve toured a few and think youâve found the one. But on each tour they happily talked about their happy hours and your dad hasnât had a drink in 30 years. Or maybe your mom has Alzheimerâs Disease and keeps asking for wine with dinner but she canât have alcohol with her medications and sheâs getting really upset every night. This week weâre talking about alcohol in Senior Living.
Whether itâs recovering alcoholics, medications, memory care or independence, alcohol is something that can be an issue in Senior Living. So today weâre going to talk about each of these situations.
Letâs start with a tough one: recovering alcoholics. I worked with a family whose father was a recovering alcoholic. It had been decades since he had a drink and they worried that moving into assisted living where he would be invited to happy hour could be too tempting for him. Another familyâs father had early Alzheimerâs and had made comments about having a beer, almost as though he was forgetting that he doesnât drink. His memory loss was at a stage where he qualified for Assisted Living. On a side note we have an episode about that subject that Iâll put in show notes. This family is not only worried about the weekly happy hour but trips to the grocery store where heâd be able to purchase his own alcohol.
So whatâs the standard here? Well, the hard fact is that most Senior Living Communities will not say no to a resident in this situation nor will they monitor their groceries. Residents have rights and that includes a right to consume or purchase alcohol. Now⊠they may have rules like a 2 drink maximum at happy hour, but thatâs the extent of it. It is possible to find an Assisted Living Community that has the ability to do more of this monitoring. But itâs important to be very clear about exactly what your expectations are because it can be really difficult when youâre talking about so many different staff members and so many different residents. Some Assisted Living Communities do offer on site counseling but ultimately this type of environment is not the same as an in-house recovery program.
So⊠itâs there a situation that would be safer? And what about Memory Care?
Well yes⊠both Residential Care Homes and Memory Care both have the ability to monitor alcohol intake and purchase more closely. For instance in both of these settings alcohol most often must be doctor ordered. We worked with a family whoâs fatherâs doctor ordered one shot of whiskey per night when requested. The family purchased his favorite whiskey and kept it on hand.
In a Memory Care setting, those who have passed a certain stage of memory loss may not realize that the glass of juice served to them in a wine glass isnât wine and that can be a great strategy for filling that desire for a drink in a safe way.
Now, I want to pause here to say that a doctor would not be prescribing alcohol if it was going to interfere with medications. Which is one of the risk factors for consuming alcohol in any Senior Living setting, even when staying at home.
So letâs talk about independence. Your mom loves to have a glass of wine with dinnerâŠa lot people doâŠbut most senior living communities and adult family homes do not serve alcohol. Sure they have a weekly happy hour, but youâre not going to find your favorite Pinot on the menu in the dining room. A few weeks ago one of our clients had this exact question: what about Momâs wine? Does she have to give that up? And in their case the answer was no! The community allows their residents to bring their own drinks to dinner.
No matter the reason for your concern, ask your Senior Living Community about their policy on alcohol. Work with your doctors and make a plan if itâs a question of health, medications or memory care. This question of independence is also so important! Just because you need Assisted Living or decide to move to Retirement Living it shouldnât mean you have to give up your favorite wine.
If youâd like to check out our blog post in podcast form, be sure to take a listen HERE!
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