What Should I Do Before I Tour A Senior Living Community?
Your mom fell at home. Sheās in rehab and everyone agrees that sheās just not safe at home any longer. Youāre busy with workā¦the kids ā¦your momās cat and of course your mom! Talking to doctors and physical therapists and social workersā¦and now you have to add touring senior living communities to your list? Iām your host Valerie Lynn and this week weāre talking about how to make the most out of the senior living tour.
Hi and welcome to the showā¦. you may already know that I have a company called Clear Path, that helps families find the right assisted living or memory careā¦. Part of my job is accompanying families on tours and touring communities myself on a regular basis. Before I started my company I worked in senior livingā¦and I was that tour guide!
It occurred to me recentlyā¦that these tours of senior living are pretty much the same. Youāll stop in or call aheadā¦youāll sit and chat about your situation or you might jump right in to being shown aroundā¦.and most of the time the tour guide has their routeā¦highlightsā¦things they like to point out and many times these are things youāre not even interested in because you know your mom doesnāt really care about the piano player that comes in once a week.
They call the tour guide the marketer or move in coordinator and when your job is to give the tours you get comfortable with a certain way of doing it and in some cases are taught a certain way by the community or a third party company. I found myself in these situations too! The bottom line is that the tour guide or marketer is a sales position. Even though there are plenty of people out there like myself who really care about what youāre going through and really want to help, most of the marketers out there are being held accountable for how many move ins they get in a month.
Iāve always told families to go with your gutā¦choose the place that feels right. But weāve all heard the saying ā¦people buy from people they likeā¦. so how can you make sure that youāre choosing the right place for your loved one and not just because you really like the tour guide?
Well this week weāre going to talk about a few tips for doing just that.
But before we get to some tipsā¦I want to share the story of a family I helped when I worked in memory care. Their mom was living in her own home but had started to get her days and nights mixed up and was knocking on her neighbors door at 2am. This occurred more than once. She then had a fall and ended up in the hospital. They realized it was time and were looking for memory care. We sat down and talked and the family was really overwhelmed. I toured with two of the sistersā¦they thought our building was a good fit so they chose us and moved forward with paperwork and setting up the room. Iāll never forget the day of the move. I met the third sisterā¦ they had literally moved in all of the furnitureā¦ their mom was to arrive in about 3 hoursā¦and the third sister looked around the room stopped at the window and saidā¦ umā¦ doesnāt mom always think someoneās trying to break in? We were on the first floorā¦we all looked at each other and I knew instantly this was not going to work. Luckily we had a second floor and we quickly got everything moved. This story leads us to the first and probably most important tip.
1.Make a list of deal breakers for your loved one
Is it that first floor window? Is it being able to eat dinner in the dining room at 4pm? Is it being able to get out of the building on day trips? Whatever they are, know the things that are most important before you tour.
2.Donāt go alone!
Youāre most likely already overwhelmed. Itāll help to have someone else to talk through what you saw and remember details. This is one of the things that families have said they really liked about working with us at Clear Path. Weāre able to be that sounding board. If you arenāt able to find someone to go with you then bring that list of deal breakers and any questions those bring up.
Really look around at the other residents and staff. Do the staff seem attentive? Are the residents content? Now, Iām not saying that everyone should be expected to be happy all the timeā¦weāre certainly not and Iām sure your mom or dad probably has a bad day every now and then. But you can definitely get a feel for the environment and if it seems off you can ask about it. Maybe thereās a reason for the bad day. Also, really look around at the buildingā¦ is it in disrepair? Is it dirty? Will that matter to your mom or dad or does it just matter to you? Again, going back to that list of deal breakersā¦Is cleanliness or having a new building or freshly painted and remodeled apartment on the deal breaker list?
3. Chat with the residents
Ask them how they like living there. Of course this would not apply to memory care. This is for the independent living or assisted living buildings and there are often residents in these communities, sometimes called ambassadors, that will introduce themselves and tell you how much they love the community. I love these folks because theyāre also usually the ones who will make sure your mom or dad feel comfortable and get introduced around, if they move in. But make sure you also talk to the folks sitting around the fireplace, doing an activity or riding the elevator with you! Youāll sometimes get some great insider information!
5. Assess and understand your expectations (and give yourself some grace!)
Finally, ask yourself what your expectations are then remind yourself that youāre new to this! You canāt be expected to know whatās normal, whatās mandated by state regulations or even whatās not normal. There are no dumb questions! When I first started working in senior living I was so excited! I thought wow! I get to help seniors! I get to chat with them everyday and learn from them and be part of their home.. I quickly learned that yesā¦weāre helping seniors but itās also a business. So do your best to approach it like a business. And hopefully that will help avoid any big problems after move in day and help make your decision a little more doable.
Here’s a bonus tip:
You know your mom or dad bestā¦be prepared to walk away if it doesnāt seem right, itās not a good fit or youāre not getting answers to your questions.
If youād like to check out our blog post in podcast form, be sure to take a listen HERE!
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